The struggle between the heart and mind is what I can only liken to a continuous and unending battle of wills . The pain of a breakup often results in a whirlwind of inner turmoil where there is a sense of self betrayal due to the continuing love you feel for the other person , and the persistent magnification of the good with active ignorance of the bad.

The ‘bad’ for me … was BAD! The bad times within my past relationship constituted over 70% of our relationship ( I type whilst being conscious that I am likely to have minimised that figure)… but yet the love I felt caused me to remain blind, blind to how poorly he treated me , blind to my own pain , blind to my own needs and desires. In the end , it became a tortuous tug of war between the logic of the mind and the irrationality of the heart.

Conversation between the heart and mind ….

The Broken Heart

‘I miss him…… it wasn’t all THAT bad … was it ?

The Protective Mind

‘Why should we (heart and mind) prioritise him whilst he has conspired against us for so long ??’ ‘ Why are you (broken heart) being complicit in our torture ?’ ‘ Does that not make you as guilty as he is for our own disservice ?’

The Broken Heart

‘But I love him !’ ‘Maybe I could have been better ….maybe there was more I could have done to make him happy , to make him love me the way I love him’.

The Protective Mind

‘Are we not our own and only obligated defenders ?”Then why do you (broken heart) choose to betray me and continue to have concern for him rather than for us and the 12 years of mental destruction he waged against me !’ 

They say without self-love you are incomplete and you will forever search for a sense of completeness that you can never expect another to fill.

A broken heart cannot lead a resilient mind…a resilient mind will mend a broken heart . Let your heart mend…… let your mind lead.  findinglaina3